Chit Chat: Friendship

I happen to think that I have the most amazing best friends in the world. Sure we all have friends that we will invite to go to the movies with us or on a shopping trip. We all have work friends or people we are friends with because they are in a class with us. I'm not talking friends here, I'm talking about best friends. I have a group of three best friends. These ladies are amazing and I am very thankful for them. I have been best friends with them for varying lengths of times but I consider them to be my closest and best friends. I think you just know within minutes if you are going to be best friends or not. In the first few minutes you just hit it off and realize this is someone I want to be friends with for the rest of my life. I knew within minutes of talking to these girls that I was going to be able to count them as a best friend.
To me best friends are loyal. My best friends always have my back. If someone has said something bad about me they stick up for me even if I'm not around. If someone tries to attack my reputation as being a good person I know my best friends will and have stood up for me. Even if they have no other reason to dislike someone they will dislike someone who badmouths one of their best friends.
I know I can always count on these girls to share their honest opinions and advice. If they think I look hideous in a top, I know they will tell me. If I have a decision to make they will help me weight the pros and cons. If I'm not sure how to handle a situation they will share their honest advice with me. Not only are my best friends open and honest with me but I can be honest with them and no one takes offense. We understand that we are just looking out for one another. Best friends share and keep secrets. I can tell my best friends anything and they will keep it secret. They will not judge me but they will be there for me no matter what. We can talk and share our feelings with each other.
A wonderful thing about my best friends is we can be serious and we can be silly. We can be silly and childish and have fun without feeling like we are being judged. Sure other people might think we are acting silly but it doesn't matter because we are not alone. We have fun going off on tangents and "what if..." scenarios. We can have a great evening watching cartoons. We can go out to the movies and watch movies that are geared for kids and still have had a great evening.
Another thing that I know about my best friends is that we will be best friends for the rest of our lives. We can go months without seeing each other and still get together and be just like we use to be. When one of my best friends and I went to different colleges and now that one of my best friends and I live several hours away from each other and only see each other face to face every couple of months, I have only realized that best friends don't have to see each other all the time or every day. Best friends can be separated by space, but in your mind and your heart you are never separated.

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Chit Chat

Do you have a lot of close friends?

Since graduating law school and moving back to my hometown my group of friends have gotten incredibly small. I had a huge group of friends in high school and in college. In law school my group of friends became smaller but still there was always numerous people to spend time with, to go on adventures with, to share the huge work load that comes with law school, and to meet in library study rooms at 4 a.m. the morning of a final with smuggled in coffee and cinnamon rolls to devour while we tried desperately to cram the last bits of important information into our tired brains. I built strong personal connections with these friends. For three years they were always there. We would listen to each other whine and complain without judging. We would push everything aside to help each other out and we had fun, crazy, laugh until your stomach hurts fun. Now we are scattered across the country working in stressful, time-consuming jobs that leave almost a nonexistent amount of free time.

I miss this group of friends. It is difficult to go from having friends to go out with numerous times a week, people to eat every lunch (and most dinners) with, being greeted warmly and wholeheartedly every morning to almost never seeing some of the most important people in your life. It is somewhat isolating. I am not the best at keeping in touch but I have been trying hard to maintain these friendships. We send numerous texts, we try to catch each other on the phone, and I have a pact with my best friend to leave work at the same time at least once a week and to talk to each other during our entire drives home but in reality it is not the same. I would love to have more friends close by that I could go out to dinner with or whose house I could swing by without much thought (or without driving a minimum of four or five hours).

While some of my high school friends still live in my hometown it is difficult to reignite the close friendships we had in high school because it feels like we are at different places in our lives. Most of my former high school classmates entered the workforce after college whereas I had three additional years of school in front of me, some are married (or even divorced), and some have children. It doesn't help that my schedule is often jammed pack.

Living in a very small town there isn't a lot of opportunities to make friends and I feel like as I get older, perhaps due to busy schedules, being at different places in life, or simply becoming picker about those we allow into our circles making friends gets harder.

So I would love to know how do you make new friends and develop lasting friendships? Are most of your friends those who remain from high school and college? Do you have a large group of friends or just a trusted few? How do you maintain the friendships you make? And do you have any specific tips that might apply to me?

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