New Years Resolutions

Last January I shared my New Year's resolution to do more here. In 2015 my resolution was to do more. I wanted to get out there and live a little more by trying new things and saying yes to new opportunities. I think I did a lot to fulfill this resolution last year. Some of the new things that I accomplished last year, I still plan to do. For starters Tracy and I started a book club with some of our best friends and I can see this continuing for many years. We also attended our first board gaming convention with our cousin, who has been to many, this past year. We had a blast and have already ordered tickets for a board gaming convention in April. We had our first visit to a psychic and had tarot card readings. It was definitely very interesting. I swam with a dolphin on our summer vacation to Florida. I also went back to school last year to earn my next degree. These are just a few of the things that I did last year to really live my life.

So a lot happened last year and I want to keep that up this year. I want to keep exploring and trying new things. This year is going to get crazy hectic for me though. Between work, being back in school, and starting work on my National Board Certification I am going to be a busy busy bee. If you aren't in education you probably don't know about National Board Certified Teachers, but it is a crazy amount of work, but it is a great thing to have. It shows others in education that you know what you are doing. It is a prestigious title to have and it comes with a pay raise. All of this is going to keep me on my toes for the next 5 months. We are back to work after break, I have college classes starting in a couple of weeks, and I will be working on my first component for my National Boards. All of this seems like it could cause this upcoming year to be very stressful at times. Because of this my New Years resolution is have fun this year.

I am not going to let the stress get to me. Whenever it does, I am going to remember my resolution and take a break and have some fun. You need to be serious and a hard worker, but you can't be that way all the time. What do you suggest I do for fun this year?



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Chit Chat: Challenging Yourself

I know many people do not make New Year's Resolutions because they believe that doing so is just setting themselves up to fail and there are plenty of studies out there that seem to back this up. (On article I read said only 8% of the 40% of Americans who make resolutions succeed). I, however, make resolutions every year. Typically it is just a list of goals I jot down and want to work towards accomplishing in the New Year. Sometimes I succeed and sometimes I fall short as I do with any other goals I set for myself but even if the resolution does not stick I have never thought of myself as failing.

I am a big believer in challenging myself. I have always seen it as a way to grow and get things done that I wouldn't otherwise do. I love having things to work towards so setting goals is very important to me. I have always viewed resolutions as just another way of establishing goals. Once I have a goal set I can map out a game plan (huge planner here) and get to work. It is when I don't have goals that I struggle. During those times I feel stagnant and like I am floundering but having goals, plans, and ambitions is exhilarating.

Even if I don't quite make it and I am unable to grasp the end result that I wanted I think of myself as improved for trying. If the goal is really important to me I will commit myself to trying again and having learned from my last attempt I will be better prepared to tackle the obstacles in front of me the next time.

Having set goals clarifies my objectives and reminds me of my purpose. While I set goals year round the beginning of a new year has always seemed like a clean slate to me, full of opportunity with anything being possible. By making resolutions I am looking ahead to who I want to be in a year and what it will take to accomplish that.

Did you make resolutions this year? Are you still on track to keep them?

P.S. You can read Jessica's post on looking back on 2014 here.

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Chit Chat

This last week I have been thinking about the approaching new year. I have been having an internal debate on whether to set New Year's resolutions. Although great in theory it is impossible to ignore that most people (including myself) often fail to follow through with their resolutions. Last year I created a checklist of goals to complete to in the next couple years which included things like attend the ballet for the first time, travel someplace new, and collect seashells at the beach. I have been successfully crossing items off this list but the resolutions I made last January largely have gone unfinished.

The conclusion I have come to is that while I continue crossing items off of my list and making a serious effort to take better care of myself and find a job that makes me happy my one resolution this year is inspired by the convocation speech George Saunders gave to the class of 2013 at Syracuse University. In 2014 I aspire to be kinder.

In way each of us are graduating and leaving behind 2013. For that reason I am posting George Saunders's speech taken from The New York Times. Maybe it will inspire you too.

Down through the ages, a traditional form has evolved for this type of speech, which is: Some old fart, his best years behind him, who, over the course of his life, has made a series of dreadful mistakes (that would be me), gives heartfelt advice to a group of shining, energetic young people, with all of their best years ahead of them (that would be you).

And I intend to respect that tradition.

Now, one useful thing you can do with an old person, in addition to borrowing money from them, or asking them to do one of their old-time “dances,” so you can watch, while laughing, is ask: “Looking back, what do you regret?” And they’ll tell you. Sometimes, as you know, they’ll tell you even if you haven’t asked. Sometimes, even when you’ve specifically requested they not tell you, they’ll tell you.

So: What do I regret? Being poor from time to time? Not really. Working terrible jobs, like “knuckle-puller in a slaughterhouse?” (And don’t even ASK what that entails.) No. I don’t regret that. Skinny-dipping in a river in Sumatra, a little buzzed, and looking up and seeing like 300 monkeys sitting on a pipeline, pooping down into the river, the river in which I was swimming, with my mouth open, naked? And getting deathly ill afterwards, and staying sick for the next seven months? Not so much. Do I regret the occasional humiliation? Like once, playing hockey in front of a big crowd, including this girl I really liked, I somehow managed, while falling and emitting this weird whooping noise, to score on my own goalie, while also sending my stick flying into the crowd, nearly hitting that girl? No. I don’t even regret that.

But here’s something I do regret:

In seventh grade, this new kid joined our class. In the interest of confidentiality, her Convocation Speech name will be “ELLEN.” ELLEN was small, shy. She wore these blue cat’s-eye glasses that, at the time, only old ladies wore. When nervous, which was pretty much always, she had a habit of taking a strand of hair into her mouth and chewing on it.

So she came to our school and our neighborhood, and was mostly ignored, occasionally teased (“Your hair taste good?” – that sort of thing). I could see this hurt her. I still remember the way she’d look after such an insult: eyes cast down, a little gut-kicked, as if, having just been reminded of her place in things, she was trying, as much as possible, to disappear. After awhile she’d drift away, hair-strand still in her mouth. At home, I imagined, after school, her mother would say, you know: “How was your day, sweetie?” and she’d say, “Oh, fine.” And her mother would say, “Making any friends?” and she’d go, “Sure, lots.”

Sometimes I’d see her hanging around alone in her front yard, as if afraid to leave it.

And then – they moved. That was it. No tragedy, no big final hazing.

One day she was there, next day she wasn’t.

End of story.

Now, why do I regret that? Why, forty-two years later, am I still thinking about it? Relative to most of the other kids, I was actually pretty nice to her. I never said an unkind word to her. In fact, I sometimes even (mildly) defended her.

But still. It bothers me.

So here’s something I know to be true, although it’s a little corny, and I don’t quite know what to do with it:

What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness.

Those moments when another human being was there, in front of me, suffering, and I responded…sensibly. Reservedly. Mildly.

Or, to look at it from the other end of the telescope: Who, in your life, do you remember most fondly, with the most undeniable feelings of warmth?

Those who were kindest to you, I bet.

It’s a little facile, maybe, and certainly hard to implement, but I’d say, as a goal in life, you could do worse than: Try to be kinder.

Now, the million-dollar question: What’s our problem? Why aren’t we kinder?

Here’s what I think:

Each of us is born with a series of built-in confusions that are probably somehow Darwinian. These are: (1) we’re central to the universe (that is, our personal story is the main and most interesting story, the only story, really); (2) we’re separate from the universe (there’s US and then, out there, all that other junk – dogs and swing-sets, and the State of Nebraska and low-hanging clouds and, you know, other people), and (3) we’re permanent (death is real, o.k., sure – for you, but not for me).

Now, we don’t really believe these things – intellectually we know better – but we believe them viscerally, and live by them, and they cause us to prioritize our own needs over the needs of others, even though what we really want, in our hearts, is to be less selfish, more aware of what’s actually happening in the present moment, more open, and more loving.

So, the second million-dollar question: How might we DO this? How might we become more loving, more open, less selfish, more present, less delusional, etc., etc?

Well, yes, good question.

Unfortunately, I only have three minutes left.

So let me just say this. There are ways. You already know that because, in your life, there have been High Kindness periods and Low Kindness periods, and you know what inclined you toward the former and away from the latter. Education is good; immersing ourselves in a work of art: good; prayer is good; meditation’s good; a frank talk with a dear friend; establishing ourselves in some kind of spiritual tradition – recognizing that there have been countless really smart people before us who have asked these same questions and left behind answers for us.

Because kindness, it turns out, is hard – it starts out all rainbows and puppy dogs, and expands to include…well, everything.

One thing in our favor: some of this “becoming kinder” happens naturally, with age. It might be a simple matter of attrition: as we get older, we come to see how useless it is to be selfish – how illogical, really. We come to love other people and are thereby counter-instructed in our own centrality. We get our butts kicked by real life, and people come to our defense, and help us, and we learn that we’re not separate, and don’t want to be. We see people near and dear to us dropping away, and are gradually convinced that maybe we too will drop away (someday, a long time from now). Most people, as they age, become less selfish and more loving. I think this is true. The great Syracuse poet, Hayden Carruth, said, in a poem written near the end of his life, that he was “mostly Love, now.”

And so, a prediction, and my heartfelt wish for you: as you get older, your self will diminish and you will grow in love. YOU will gradually be replaced by LOVE. If you have kids, that will be a huge moment in your process of self-diminishment. You really won’t care what happens to YOU, as long as they benefit. That’s one reason your parents are so proud and happy today. One of their fondest dreams has come true: you have accomplished something difficult and tangible that has enlarged you as a person and will make your life better, from here on in, forever.

Congratulations, by the way.

When young, we’re anxious – understandably – to find out if we’ve got what it takes. Can we succeed? Can we build a viable life for ourselves? But you – in particular you, of this generation – may have noticed a certain cyclical quality to ambition. You do well in high-school, in hopes of getting into a good college, so you can do well in the good college, in the hopes of getting a good job, so you can do well in the good job so you can….

And this is actually O.K. If we’re going to become kinder, that process has to include taking ourselves seriously – as doers, as accomplishers, as dreamers. We have to do that, to be our best selves.

Still, accomplishment is unreliable. “Succeeding,” whatever that might mean to you, is hard, and the need to do so constantly renews itself (success is like a mountain that keeps growing ahead of you as you hike it), and there’s the very real danger that “succeeding” will take up your whole life, while the big questions go untended.

So, quick, end-of-speech advice: Since, according to me, your life is going to be a gradual process of becoming kinder and more loving: Hurry up. Speed it along. Start right now. There’s a confusion in each of us, a sickness, really: selfishness. But there’s also a cure. So be a good and proactive and even somewhat desperate patient on your own behalf – seek out the most efficacious anti-selfishness medicines, energetically, for the rest of your life.

Do all the other things, the ambitious things – travel, get rich, get famous, innovate, lead, fall in love, make and lose fortunes, swim naked in wild jungle rivers (after first having it tested for monkey poop) – but as you do, to the extent that you can, err in the direction of kindness. Do those things that incline you toward the big questions, and avoid the things that would reduce you and make you trivial. That luminous part of you that exists beyond personality – your soul, if you will – is as bright and shining as any that has ever been. Bright as Shakespeare’s, bright as Gandhi’s, bright as Mother Teresa’s. Clear away everything that keeps you separate from this secret luminous place. Believe it exists, come to know it better, nurture it, share its fruits tirelessly.

And someday, in 80 years, when you’re 100, and I’m 134, and we’re both so kind and loving we’re nearly unbearable, drop me a line, let me know how your life has been. I hope you will say: It has been so wonderful.

Congratulations, Class of 2013.

I wish you great happiness, all the luck in the world, and a beautiful summer.

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Cheers To A New Year

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It is hard to believe that the chapter on 2012 has came to a close. It seems that was gone in a blink of an eye.

2012 allowed us to get to know some of our fellow bloggers even better and foster some wonderful friendships. I have participated in the correspondence club hosted by Nnenna this year where I have not only gotten to know how absolutely wonderful Nnenna is but have also been introduced to the lovely Christine and Ashlie. We had the opportunity to host giveaways sponsored by SimaG and Tresa Jewelry. We entered into a partnership that we are excited to announce in the upcoming weeks. Our first guest posts went up this (and are in the process of arranging more we promise) by Ashley, Priscila, Mimi, and Satu. To end the year off we hosted a successful Christmas Card Exchange and were touched by the participation by the amazing ladies who took part.

I am still undecided how I feel about New Year's Resolutions so instead me and Jessica have vowed to put even more effort into knocking off items on our 101 in 1001 days lists that we each drafted earlier this year. We have already made progress on our lists by attending our first ballet (we've actually been twice and have tickets to go again in March, we have to admit we are kind of in love with the ballet now), starting to journal (we purchased Keel's Simple Diary, her's is green and mine is pink), have done a few random acts of kindness each), hosted a game night, went thrift shopping for the first time, I've picked up my game when it comes to reading books (this has never been a problem for Jessica), cleaning out our closets and donating what we no longer need, and we have tried several new fruits and veggies.

Thank you for sticking with us during last year and thanks to the new readers we picked up along the way. We hope that 2013 is a wonderful year for each of you.

Gym Class Heroes

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For those of you who resolved to hit the gym this year, I want to stress the importance of having cute gym gear. Having the correct gear and looking good (no frumpy tees please) will increase your odds of following through with your resolution. I have put together a list of gym bag essentials.

Clothes including a sports bra, socks, and sneakers.

1. Water Bottle
2. Yoga Mat
3. Hair Bands
4. Hair Brush
5. Travel Size Kit including Shampoo, Conditioner, Body Wash, and Face Wash
6. Toothbrush and Toothpaste

7. MP3 Player
8. Towel
9. Pain Reliever
10. Flip Flops for the shower
11. Band Aids

If you have any gym bag essentials that I've forgotten please leave them in the comments.

♥ Sunny

Bound and Determined

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This is the time of year when people really think about the things they want to change. As always I have made my resolutions for the new year and I am really hoping that I can stick to these resolutions. Looking back at last year's resolutions I completed some, outright failed when it came to some, and half completed some.

Here is the advice I need to remember whenever I am wavering on this year's resolutions:

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So, how did you do? Did you accomplish last year's resolutions or are they still on the list for this year?

Star

Goals For The New Year

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This year instead of creating unattainable resolutions for myself I have put some thought into establishing a few goals that are within reach. With a little effort I should be able improve the upcoming year and make it a little healthier, happier, and fulfilling.

Goal #1: Eat more fruits and veggies.

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Should be easy for a vegetarian right? I currently struggle with eating enough fruits and vegetables because I feel like I seldom have any free time to prepare them. After long days at work I often come home and reach for the first thing I can find the put in the oven or microwave. This year I want to set aside a little time each week to prepare healthy meals and to even try a few new fruits and vegetables.

Goal #2: Read More

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I love to read but again, I often say I am too busy to find the time. This year I want to read 12 new books, which equals out to 1 book per month and only a few pages a day. Anyone should be able to find that time to accomplish that.

Goal #3: Ride a Carousel

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I have developed a huge crush on carousels during the last few years. I have even collected a few little ones that are now scattered around my bedroom, but I have never in entire life actually been on a carousel. That's going to change this year.

Goal #4: Travel Someplace New

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I love to travel but always find myself returning to the same places, this year I need to be a little more adventurous and schedule a vacation someplace I have never been before.

Goal #4: Organize and Maintained Organized My Closet

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My closet is currently a disaster zone. I am positive it would take at least a week to organize and clean it out. I think cleaning out my closet and working to keep it organized throughout the year will help me save time getting dressed in the morning and also help save money by keeping me from purchasing some unneeded items.

Have you established any goals for yourself for the New Year?

♥ Sunny

A New Year A New Beginning

At the end of every year I like to think back on the events of the past year. What things went well for me? What good and bad things happened? What things could I have worked harder at? That last question always gets me to thinking about the things that I have attempted and didn't finish or things that I can do better at or just things that I need to keep working on. It's that last question that helps me set my New Year's Resolutions. I don't have many resolutions this year (only 5 in fact), but most of them are things that I need to keep working on.

Resolution # 1 To travel some this year.

Resolution # 2 To start saving some money (going to need it if I plan on doing that traveling).

Resolution # 3 To be healthier this year (lose some weight, drink more water, exercise more, etc.).

Resolution # 4 To be more inspired when it comes to work, the blog, and life in general.

Resolution # 5 To have more fun this year by getting out there and doing more and trying new things.

What are some of your resolutions for this new year?

Star

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